What to expect

Appetite, sleep, and concentration go first. It comes in waves rather than a slope — a good week, then a song and a collapse. Two to three months is a common turning point, longer if you keep contact live. The urge to check their activity is strong and reliably makes it worse.

How to prepare

• Tell two or three people, honestly, so you're not managing it alone.
• Mute or unfollow rather than monitoring; it's practical, not petty.
• Keep sleep, food, and movement steady even when nothing feels worth it.
• Return their things in one go rather than staged visits.

What people say

What helps

• A clean contact break for a defined period, then renegotiate.
• Exercise and daylight — the most reliable mood lever available.
• Writing the unsent version instead of sending the 3am message.
• New routines that don't have their shape in them.

Do and don't

• Do let it be as big as it is; minimising drags it out.
• Don't use alcohol or a fast rebound to skip the middle.
• Don't reread old messages as a nightly ritual.

What it costs

Afterwards

The measure of recovery is that reminders stop reorganising your day, not that they stop appearing. Most people describe learning something they carry into the next relationship.

Why it matters

You learn how you attach, what you need, and how much of an identity was borrowed.